Proposal CritiqueOverviewIn this assignment, you will be rewriting and critiquing the proposal provided in the document, A Proposal Template [DOCX] attached. There are at least six improvements to be

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Proposal Critique

Overview

In this assignment, you will be rewriting and critiquing the proposal provided in the document, A Proposal Template [DOCX] attached. There are at least six improvements to be made in the document. Your job is to identify the six improvements and then, using track changes, rewrite or fix the errors. Also, using the comments tool, give a brief explanation to why it is wrong and why you fixed it the way you did.

Instructions

  • This is a formal proposal. This means you should be reviewing and editing the proposal with an eye toward global issues: organization, professional tone, readability, relevance, et cetera.
  • Refer to your textbook as a need to review how considerations such as organization, professional tone, readability, relevance, et cetera may need to be approached differently in a proposal compared to other forms of technical writing you have demonstrated in this course.
  • There will be local errors to fix, but do not lose sight of the global issues that impact the proposal’s coherence and professionalism.

Note: If your word processing program does not have track changes, you will need to insert comments in brackets using red font at the improvement location.

In your document, you should:

  • Identify at least six proposal weaknesses using track changes.
  • Include a critique paragraph of at least 150 words at the end of the document that summarizes the weaknesses.
  • Discuss improvements for each of the weaknesses in your critique.
  • Ensure both the comments and critique are concise and error-free.

This course requires the use of Strayer Writing Standards. For assistance and information, please refer to the Strayer Writing Standards

link

2 example files are attached for your help. And 1 Proposal Template [DOCX]

Proposal CritiqueOverviewIn this assignment, you will be rewriting and critiquing the proposal provided in the document, A Proposal Template [DOCX] attached. There are at least six improvements to be
A Proposal To: From: Date: Subject: Proposal for Plant Service Problem and Solution Mason Office Center is a lovely Georgian building containing four offices. However, the interior is not attractive or inviting for clients/customers and employees. The off-white walls throughout the complex seem dull and boring, adjectives the tenants do not want associated with their businesses. In addition, the air in the building is musty and unpleasant at times. Green Thumb Planting can provide and maintain a beautiful plantscape in the building that will attract visitors and employees as well as purify the air and introduce more oxygen. Research shows that people respond positively to interiors with at least two plants per room. These changes can be made in an unobtrusive, cost-effective manner. Objectives of Proposed Plan Installing plantings in Mason Office Center will give visitors and employees a more appealing and cleaner environment, producing positive feelings and greater productivity. Background I have been in the interior plant maintenance business for 32 years and have owned and operated Green Thumb Planting for the last seven years. All associates with Green Thumb Planting take pride in their work, and Green Thumb is happy to provide references. Methods Within two weeks of your signing a contract, our design team will interview you and produce a plan showing installation, including the number and types of plants, color and design of containers, and placement. The team will adjust the plan according to your preference. Furthermore, Green Thumb is concerned about the environment and thus uses only organic methods. No harmful chemicals are used in its plantscapes. Based on Green Thumb’s design formula, the building could use 31 large and 14 medium-sized low-light plants. Green Thumb’s service agreement provides plants and pots, weekly maintenance, and monthly replacement of weak plants. Scheduling When a plan is agreed upon, Green Thumb will schedule installation within one week. Installation can be accomplished during the evening hours to avoid interrupting your tenants’ business activities. All soil and materials will be brought into the building in specially designed trolleys to prevent spillage and damage to floors. I anticipate being able to complete the job in two nights. Once the plantscape is installed, Green Thumb Planting staff will visit Mason Office Center once a week to maintain the plants. Capabilities and Qualifications of Personnel I have a BS degree in landscape design and 32 years of experience in the business. In addition, all personnel have undergone thorough background and criminal checks and are bonded. Your satisfaction with Green Thumb’s plantings and employees are guaranteed. Budget The installation cost is $923.40, and the monthly maintenance fee is $75.00 per month. You will incur no other charges to have an inviting, attractive, clean green environment in Mason Office Building. Installation costs include the following: 31 large 6 braided ficus trees at $25 each $150.00 6 chamaedorea palms at $20 120.00 10 herb topiaries at $20 200.00 9 Chinese evergreens at $25 225.00 14 medium 5 moth orchids at $15 $ 75.00 9 angel ivy at $15 135.00 SUBTOTAL $905.00 Tax 8% 72.40 TOTAL $977.40 Conclusion For an effortless, inexpensive, attractive, clean environment at Mason Office Center, accept Green Thumb’s proposal. Please send a memorandum of acceptance to Green Thumb Planting, 101 Sienna Way, Ayden, NC 28513-7101. Possible Solution to Your Turn 15 Proposals © 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part, except for use as permitted in a license distributed with a certain product or service or otherwise on a password-protected website for classroom use.
Proposal CritiqueOverviewIn this assignment, you will be rewriting and critiquing the proposal provided in the document, A Proposal Template [DOCX] attached. There are at least six improvements to be
Assignment 8: Proposal critique Nathan Bieganski Professor Christopher Swindell ENG 316 9/4/2019 Proposal for Office Improvement To: Mason Office Center Suite Manager From: Nathan Bieganski, Green Thumb Planting Proprietor Date: 9/4/2019 Subject: Proposal for Plant Service Problem Mason Office Center is a lovely Georgian building containing four offices. However, the interior is not attractive or inviting for clients and employees. The off-white walls throughout the complex seem dull and boring, adjectives the tenants do not want associated with their businesses. In addition, the air in the building is musty and unpleasant at times. Solution Green Thumb Planting can provide and maintain a beautiful plantscape in the building that will attract visitors and employees as well as purify the air and introduce more oxygen. Research shows that people respond positively to interiors with at least two plants per room. The attractive customized pots and green foliage add a comforting and distraction-free splash of color. These changes can be made in an unobtrusive, cost-effective manner. Objectives of Proposed Plan Installing plantings in Mason Office Center will give visitors and employees a more appealing and cleaner environment, producing positive feelings and greater productivity. Indoor air quality will be noticeably improved by the presence of the plants we have selected. Background I have been in the interior plant maintenance business for 32 years and have earned a Bachelor of Science degree in landscape design. I have owned and operated Green Thumb Planting for the last 7 years. All associates with Green Thumb Planting take pride in their work, and Green Thumb is happy to provide references. In addition, all personnel have undergone thorough background and criminal checks and are bonded. Your satisfaction with Green Thumb’s plantings and employees is guaranteed. Methods Within two weeks of your signing a contract, our design team will interview you and produce a plan showing installation, including the number and types of plants, color and design of containers, and placement. The team will adjust the plan according to your preference. Furthermore, Green Thumb is concerned about the environment and thus uses only organic methods. No harmful chemicals are used in its plantscapes. Based on Green Thumb’s design formula, the building could use 31 large and 14 medium-sized low-light plants. Green Thumb’s service agreement provides plants and pots, weekly maintenance, and monthly replacement of weak plants. Scheduling When a plan is agreed upon, Green Thumb will schedule installation within one week. Installation can be accomplished during the evening hours to avoid interrupting your tenants’ business activities. All soil and materials will be brought into the building in specially designed trolleys to prevent spillage and damage to floors. I anticipate being able to complete the job in two nights. Once the plantscape is installed, Green Thumb Planting staff will visit Mason Office Center once a week to maintain the plants. . In addition, all personnel have undergone thorough background and criminal checks and are bonded. Your satisfaction with Green Thumb’s plantings and employees are guaranteed. Budget The installation cost is $980.40, and the monthly maintenance fee is $75.00 per month. You will incur no other charges to have an inviting, attractive, clean, and green environment in Mason Office Building. Installation costs include the following: 31 large 6 braided ficus trees at $25 each $150.00 6 chamaedorea palms at $20 120.00 10 herb topiaries at $20 200.00 9 Chinese evergreens at $25 225.00 14 medium 5 moth orchids at $15 $ 75.00 9 angel ivy at $15 135.00 First month maintenance $ 75.00 SUBTOTAL $980.00 Tax 8% 78.40 TOTAL $1,058.40 Conclusion For an effortless, inexpensive, attractive, and clean environment at Mason Office Center, accept Green Thumb’s proposal. Please send a memorandum of acceptance to: Green Thumb Planting 101 Sienna Way Ayden, NC 28513-7101. Improvements: The first task was addressing the spellcheck concerns. I choose to leave the potential error of “plantscapes” in the text. While spellcheck might not recognize it as a valid word, it is likely an industry term and frequently used to describe the finished product. The first actual change I made was to the title of the proposal. The original title was likely a placeholder that was never updated to a proper title. I also replaced the empty places in the introduction with the “to” and “from” information. The second change was separating the problem and solution into two separate headers. I created a new collapsible header and moved the solution into its own section. I did this because it seemed like there was enough information to create two separate sections. For my third improvement, I added information to the objectives about the improvement of air quality that plants bring. This was alluded to within problems section and mentioning it as an objective of the solution is a logical step. The fourth improvement was to merge the background and qualifications sections. They both contained similar information about the owner and the employees. Merging them was an easy way to reduce redundancy and improve brevity within the proposal. The fifth improvement was correcting some factual errors within the budget totals. The stated total for installation charges did not match the stated total at the end of the itemized list that followed it. I corrected the dollar amounts and also included the first month’s maintenance costs in the itemized list. All of this required me to re-calculate the tax and final total to provide the client with an accurate price estimation in the proposal. The last improvement where some general grammar corrections and nitpicking on the terms used. I changed written numbers to numerals and added conjunctions where needed in the budget and conclusion paragraphs. I also re-arranged the address information included in the conclusion to match the expected layout for an address in the United States. Possible Solution to Your Turn 15 Proposals © 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part, except for use as permitted in a license distributed with a certain product or service or otherwise on a password-protected website for classroom use.
Proposal CritiqueOverviewIn this assignment, you will be rewriting and critiquing the proposal provided in the document, A Proposal Template [DOCX] attached. There are at least six improvements to be
Assignment 8: Proposal critique Name Professor Christopher Swindell ENG 316 Office Improvement proposal A Proposal To: Mason Office Center Suite Manager From: Planting Proprietor, Green Thumb Planting Date: 15 March, 2010 Subject: Proposal for Plant Service Problem and Solution Mason Office Center is a lovely Georgian building housing four offices. However, the interior is not attractive or inviting for clients/customers and employees. The off-white walls throughout the complex seem dull and boring, adjectives the tenants do not want associated with their businesses. In addition, the air in the building is musty and unpleasant at times. Solution Green Thumb Planting can provide and maintain a beautiful plantscape in the building that will attract visitors and employees as well as purify the air and introduce more oxygen. Research shows that people respond positively to interiors with at least two plants per room. These changes can be made in an unobtrusive, cost-effective manner. Objectives of Proposed Plan Installing plantings in Mason Office Center will give visitors and employees a more appealing and cleaner environment, producing positive feelings and greater productivity. Background and Personnel I have been in the interior plant maintenance business for 32 years, and I am qualified since I have a Degree in Landscape design. I have owned and operated Green Thumb Planting for the last seven years. All associates with Green Thumb Planting take pride in their work, and Green Thumb is happy to provide references. Methods Within two weeks of your signing a contract, our design team will interview you and produce a plan showing installation, including the number and types of plants, color and design of containers, and placement. The team will adjust the plan according to your preference. Furthermore, Green Thumb is concerned about the environment, and thus uses only organic methods. No harmful chemicals are used in its plantscapes. Based on Green Thumb’s design formula, the building could use 31 large and 14 medium-sized low-light plants. Green Thumb’s service agreement provides plants and pots, weekly maintenance, and monthly replacement of weak plants. Scheduling When a plan is agreed upon, Green Thumb will schedule installation within one week. Installation can be accomplished during the evening hours to avoid interrupting tenants’ business activities. All soil and materials will be brought into the building in specially designed trolleys to prevent spillage and damage to floors. I anticipate being able to complete the job in two nights. Once the plantscape is installed, Green Thumb Planting staff will visit Mason Office Center once a week to maintain the plants. Capabilities and Qualifications of Personnel I have a BS degree in landscape design and 32 years of experience in the business. In addition, all personnel have undergone thorough background and criminal checks and are bonded. Your satisfaction with Green Thumb’s plantings and employees are guaranteed. Budget The installation cost is $1058.00 98023.40, and the monthly maintenance fee is $75.00 per month. You will incur no other charges to have an inviting, attractive, and clean green environment in Mason Office Building. Installation costs include the following: 31 large 6 braided Ficus trees at $25 each $150.00 6 Chamaedorea palms at $20 120.00 10 herb topiaries at $20 200.00 9 Chinese evergreens at $25 225.00 14 medium 5 moth orchids at $15 $ 75.00 $75.00 9 angel ivy at $15 135.00 SUBTOTAL $98005.00 Tax 8% 782.40 TOTAL $1,058$977.40 Conclusion For an effortless, inexpensive, attractive, and clean environment at Mason Office Center, accept Green Thumb’s proposal. Please send a memorandum of acceptance to Green Thumb Planting, 101 Sienna Way, Ayden, NC 28513-7101. Improvements that were made: The first change I made on this proposal was to improve the topic of the proposal, which did not communicate directly to the audience what the proposal was all about. The spaces on “from,” “to” and “date” were also filled since I saw it as important to indicate the writer of the proposal, to whom it was directed, and when the writing was done. The writer had written the problem and the solution together and yet the two were written in distinct paragraphs. I changed them because each was in a position to stand alone. The background information and the qualifications had similar details, hence the need to combine them. There were several errors on the budget whereby some aspects were left out making the figures erroneous. These changes were made and the budget total recalculated. Finally, I corrected major grammatical errors that were made when the paper was written. These errors sounded like a misinformation and made the proposal incoherent. Overall, I argue the document is stronger and more professional, after these revisions suggested in Track Changes are adjusted. Possible Solution to Your Turn 15 Proposals © 2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part, except for use as permitted in a license distributed with a certain product or service or otherwise on a password-protected website for classroom use.

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